(I was asked by a young couple who would get married
To write a message for their marriage life and read it at their wedding party.
I wrote and post it here.)
.
Every being is a light in itself.
The one whom I love is a big light.
..
The one with whom I get married
Is a light much bigger than me, much needed for me.
..
Candlelight is beautiful and bright when it goes up in tranquility.
With agitating wind, it loses much of its serene beauty and brightness.
But we do not blame the candle
for being unable to keep the beauty and strength of its light.
.
Instead, we think, “The wind is getting stronger”
And rise up to close the window,
To help the candlelight resume its beauty.
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Just like the wind agitating the flare of a candle,
Factors influencing our lives are abundant in forms and numbers
To give us big and small difficulties in this world.
.
Why is the world so full of difficulties?
Why is life so hard to go through?
Do not ask questions like above.
It’s because we are living in such a time.
.
As summer is for hot sun to glare and winter is for cold wind to blow,
Spring is for new leaves to sprout and autumn is for old leaves to fall,
.
We are living on this planet
Just at the time for the destruction of old lives
And for the maturation of new lives.
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Just as it has no point to ask why it is so hot in summer,
It can be also of no avail to complain about the difficulties of living at the moment.
.
As it is wisdom of summer
To get clothed thinly and get enough air circulation,
Thus to fill your life with as coolest elements as possible,
.
It is wisdom of this time filled with diverse forms of stresses
Not to be affected by such stress-giving factors
And to fill your life with as much energy and happiness as possible.
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One of the most noticeable symptoms of being under stress
Is to have negative feelings towards the person
Who is just at your side.
.
Even in the case that a man and a woman meet and live together in love,
if, one, or both of them get severely stressed,
.
He, she, or they seldom fail to suspect or hate the person
Who is at his, her, or their shortest distance, physically and emotionally.
.
As a matter of fact, it is one of the basic knowhow of survival:
To find out and attack the person
Who is very likely to have attacked him, her, or them first,
Because the stress sign is read as coming from an invisible attack.
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In the remote past when there were few ubiquitous stress-inducing factors,
Electronical and chemical, as in today,
Such must have been very successful strategy.
.
But in this complicated industrialized society,
Ridden with diverse forms of unseen hazards,
You do not know where and how stress factors occur to affect you.
.
Only, as a result, you become unusually nervous and begin to suspect and hate
The person who happens to be at your side,
Following the guide your time-worn DNA has given to you.
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In the modernized society
With the nuclear family as one of the most significant units,
Sadly, the person who happens to be with you
Probably at the shorter distance and for the longer time,
Is likely to be your spouse,
The person who you chose as dearest to you.
.
In the marriage life of our time
That is supposed to be based on the love relationship between a husband and a wife,
.
The divorce rate is going higher among couples
Who have reached the goal of marriage once confident of their love.
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Such an irony comes from
The anachronism of our DNA,
The near-ultimate guideline of our lives.
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If your candlelight loses its original beauty,
Do not make a mistake of blaming the candle.
.
Do recognize of the wind getting stronger,
And quietly stand up to close the window.
.
If you think your spouse is losing his/her original beauty and strength,
Do consider the probable presence of the agitating wind to him/her
.
Rather than asking questions direct and aloud,
Try to know it with your heart in your silent prayer.
.
For words, by making a person alert,
Has an effect to enhance his/her level of stress.
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If your spouse had to keep a seat until late in a drinking dinner
For him-/herself and for the family,
.
Then this morning, do cook and serve him/her
With a bowl of warm dried-pollack and bean-sprout soup
Lightly seasoned with hot Korean pepper.
.
It will help his/her body mechanism of detoxification and blood-circulation
Eventually eliminating the toxins from alcohol stuffs from his/her body,
Thereby lowering his/her level of stress.
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If your spouse gets more nervous than usual
For reasons you and even he/she does not recognize
And begins to show a bit of bad habits thought to have disappeared,
.
Then just give him/her a warm, loving hug.
.
It will make his/her tension much relieved
To make him/her resume his/her beauty and strength.
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Live as a two candles
That will not lose its original beauty and strength
Even in times when wind blows hard.
.
Standing on their own, looking separate,
Together they will give light
Twice more bright,
Making the world the brighter.
.
Your spouse, standing right in front of you,
Is the one who can give you
The most needed part
To make one brighter light for the world.
.
Together,
Go on to the world and light it.
Changing Earth and People- Gina Lee's Archive on Global Change 